Yo momma like the Stay Puffed Marshmallow Man: Everybody gets a piece.
During his lifetime, artist Vincent Van Gogh only sold one of his paintings.
If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?
You're so ugly they know what time you were born, because your face stopped the clock!
Over 98 percent of Japanese people are cremated after they die.
Moonlight becomes you -- total darkness even more!
Most of the world's people must walk at least 3 hours to fetch water!
The bark of an older redwood tree is fireproof.
Some ribbon worms will eat themselves if they can't find any food.
When you get run over by a car, it shouldn't be listed under accidents.
Your so stupid, that you went to a Whalers game to see Shamu.
The smallest human penis ever recorded was just 5/8 of an inch long!
I hope you never get a tetanus shot; maybe you'll windup with lockjaw.
More than half the population of Kenya is under the age of 15.
In 21 U.S. states, WALMART is the single largest employer.
I knew right away that Rock Hudson was gay when he did not fall in love with me.
If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
Yo momma like a race car: She's always burning rubber.
There are more insects in one square mile of rural land than there are human beings in the world.
Your face so so ugly when you cry the tears run up your face.
You're so ugly if my dog looked like you, I'd shave its ass and teach it to walk backwards!
I heard that you were a Ladykiller. They take one look at you and die of shock.
Ants don't sleep
The average city dog lives three years longer than the average country dog.
Here lies my wife: here let her lie !
Next time you shave, try standing an inch or two closer to the blade.
You have nothing to fear from my baser instincts; its my finer ones that tell me to kill you.
You are the kind of person who, when one first meets you, one doesn't like you. But when one gets to know you better, one hates you. We know that romance brings out the beast in you -- the jackass.
Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.
Whom am I calling "stupid"? I don't know. What's your name?
The thing that terrifies me the most is that someone might hate me as much as I loathe you.
Connecticut and Rhode Island never ratified the 18th Amendment (Prohibition).
Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.
No one should be punished for accident of birth but you look too much like a wreck not to be.
Your so stupid, it takes you an hour to cook minute rice.
Women who are romance novel readers are reported to make love 74% more often with their partners than women who do not read romance novels.
All that you are you owe to your parents. Why don't you send them a penny and square the account?
Bats always turn left when exiting a cave!
If you ever tax your brain, don't charge more than a penny.
Before you came along we were hungry. Now we are fed up.
Believe me, I don't want to make a monkey out of you. Why should I take all the credit?
A group of geese on the ground is a gaggle, a group of geese in the air is a skein!
They say that travel broadens oneself. You must have been around the world.
Yo momma's so stupid she got locked in the bathroom and still peed her pants.
U-Haul is the world's largest advertiser in the Yellow Pages.
I feel sorry for you because you are so homely, but I feel even sorrier for other people because they have to look at you.
I'll never forget the first time we met -- although, I'll keep trying.
At your speed, you'd better not stop your mouth too fast or your teeth will fly through your cranium.
The mind reader had a very busy day today reading minds. You were a vacation for him.
I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in.
Blue eyes are the most sensitive to light, dark brown the least sensitive.
Yo momma's so stupid she put light bulbs on a christmas tree.
The United States produces enough plastic film annually to cover the entire state of Texas.
There is more real lemon juice in Lemon Pledge furniture polish than in Country Time Lemonade.
I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
Yo momma like an Orange Crush: "Good Vibrations!"
Yo momma like a bus: Guys climb on and off her all day long.
When you get run over by a car it shouldn't be listed under accidents.