If I had change for a buck, I could have been your dad!
The average French citizen eats 500 snails per year.
Before toilet paper was invented, French royalty wiped their bottoms with fine linen.
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.
I'll hit you so hard by the time you come down, you'll need a passport and a plane ticket back!
Vultures fly without flapping their wings.
Your so fat when you go to theme parks you get a group discount!
A couple of slates short of a full roof.
I hear you were born on April 2; a day too late!
I wish I'd known you when you were alive.
I hear you pick your friends -- to pieces!!
Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.
I hear you were born on a farm. Any more in the litter?
You're so fat if you got your shoes shined, you'd have to take his word for it!
In the year 2000, Pope John Paul II was named an "Honorary Harlem Globetrotter."!
The creator of the NIKE Swoosh symbol was paid only $35 for the design.
You so dumb you got blonde roots in your eyeballs.
Yo momma armpits so hairy looks like she got Buckwheat in a headlock!
Sit down and give your mind a rest.
A half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it.
Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails!
If I ever need a brain transplant, I'd choose yours because I'd want a brain that had never been used.
One in every 4 Americans has appeared on television!
When you get to the men`s room, you will see a sign that says, "Gentlemen."
You always manage to keep your neck above water. We can tell by the color of it.
Turtles can live for more than 100 years.
Your heart pumps about 2,000 gallons of blood each day!
Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?
A man once sued his doctor because he survived his cancer longer than the doctor predicted.
Yo momma like a golf course: Everyone gets a hole in one!
Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.
You are master in your own house -- the doghouse!
The household wrench was invented by boxing heavyweight champion Jack Johnson in 1922.
Your face so so ugly when you cry the tears run up your face.
You are so boring that you can't even entertain a doubt.
The average human body contains enough iron to make a small nail.
Your wife said she liked seafood. So I gave her crabs.
There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you are all of them.
Yo momma's so fat she sat on a quarter and squeezed a booger out of George Washington's nose.
You used to be arrogant and obnoxious. Now you are just the opposite. You are obnoxious and arrogant.
Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It'll only take 10 seconds.
If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
Your so stupid, it takes you an hour to cook minute rice.
You are living proof of reincarnation. No one could possibly get to be so stupid in just one lifetime.
Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at
Keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.
Yo momma like a birthday cake: Everybody gets a piece.
If what you don't know can't hurt you, she's invulnerable.
Australia's Great Barrier Reef is 1,250 miles long!
Hi! I'm a human being! What are you?
Yo momma's so stupid that when i asked her for a color tv she asked me what
A coffee tree yields about one pound of coffee in a year.
You must be from the shallow end of the gene pool.
Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.
Yo momma so short she trips on spit.
I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.
I hear you changed your mind! What did you do with the diaper?
I always wanted to be a trouble-shooter, but now I see you are not worth it!
You have no trouble making ends meet. Your foot is always in your mouth!